Hilarious Signs Found Only In Texas

[soybean]

Heaven And Hell​

Texans, like most Southerners, have great pride in their way of life and their belief in God. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Hondo, Texas, drive as the Hondo Texans do.

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Better turn down the volume before you start blaring "Highway to Hell". Over here, you better "Keep on the Sunny Side." In other words, slow down and drive friendly – in other words, do the exact opposite of what you would do in New York City.

 

[soybean]

If You're Happy And You... Oh!​

It is said that one of the easiest practices you can do to put your brain in a more positive frame of mind at any given moment is to go to your "happy place."

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So, when your town's name is "Happy" and its slogan is "The Town Without A Frown", anytime you need to brighten up your mood all you have to do is to think about home. Or, if you’re not from Happy, Texas, then all you have to do is remember this happy sign.

 

[soybean]

Lighter Than An Angel Flapping Its Wings​

If you’ve never tasted flan, then you might think the next sign is a mistake. If you have tasted flan, then you’ll know it’s the truth. Flan, for those who’re unfamiliar with the delicacy, is an egg-based dessert that’s sweet and savory.

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So, if you believe in a higher power and hope that higher power is taking care of everything, then you’ll be happy to know that there’s a piece of flan waiting on the other side. Called it plate – sorry, fate.

 

[soybean]

Tell Me How It Goes​

The short answer is surprising, yes. However, the long answer is you won't have the time to learn and perform it before you pass out. Therefore, it’s best to eat with some (knowledgeable) friends or else to eat slowly and carefully.

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Whatever your eating style, El Arroyo is ready to accommodate. If you decide to eat alone and eat fast, then you can rest assured that their staff knows the Heimlich. To avoid that, however, it’s best to savor a delicious meal.

 

[soybean]

So Uncultured​

Don't you just hate it when people are so uncultured as to put their produce with your finely brewed nectar? Talk about being rude. That’s a big no-no, especially in the Texan summer when cold brewskies are as important as water and oxygen.

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If you ever plan on enjoying a picnic in Texas, don’t make the mistake of filling up the beer crisper with some iceberg letters or hipster vegetables. Instead, fill it up with beer and keep the veggies far away.

 

[soybean]

Preaching To The Choir​

As we saw from the signs above, Texans (or at least Texan sign makers) have a way of talking that cuts through the BS to give it to you straight. Despite having multiple massive cities, they aren’t fans of city-slicker ways.

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They also aren’t fans of people bragging about their workouts. In most other places, people are okay with feigning interest in a friend or colleague's description of how much they can bench. Not so much in Texas where they'll have none of that humblebrag nonsense.

 

[soybean]

It's Easier Than Putting Up A Fence​

Everyone from humans to dogs marks their territory in different ways. Dogs prefer the “pee here, pee there” method. A lot of men do the same but mix it up with the occasional taunt and display of bravado (peeling out in pickup trucks comes to mind).

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Many women, on the other hand, take a more subtle approach. As you can see from the sign above, they prefer bobby pins. Perfect to pin up long hair and claim it as your own.

 

[soybean]

Alright, I'm Done​

The world is getting rougher day after day. At some point, it seems like there has to be some kind of apocalyptic event that’s going to end it all. On top of wars and corruption and environmental destruction, there’s, well, botox for bros.

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Otherwise known as “brotox.” Rather than letting women have all the face-freezing fun, it seems like dudes (mostly actors and gym rats) have opted to undergo the short procedure. It allows them to maintain a smooth face well into their retirement years.

 

[soybean]

Watch the Road​

Texans are known for their wry sense of humor. That’s apparent to any reader of the above posts, and will be doubly apparent to any reader who scrolls down a bit more. The sign below definitely calls attention to itself.

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But then it blames you for paying attention to it. Keep your eyes on the road rather than fixed to the sign that tells you to keep your eyes on the road! It’s a little bit of humorous logic that makes us wonder who writes all these signs.

 

[soybean]

Red Bull Gives You Wings?​

We’re all familiar with warning labels – “for external use only,” “warning: this product may burn your eyes,” “do not use in the shower,” and so many more. These little “do nots” are there for a reason, perhaps a funny reason.

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Enough people harmed themselves after putting products in their eyes or using them in the shower that companies had to warn consumers about the dangers of their products. Also, to cover any legal troubles. We imagine these crazy stories are probably in some filing cabinet somewhere.