Hilarious Signs Found Only In Texas

[soybean]

Self-Check​

If you’re at all a fan of early 90s rap, then you probably remember (or maybe even still listen to) Ice Cube’s 1992 hit “Check Yo Self.” It features the classic line “check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Great life advice.

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Unfortunately, the guy above didn’t heed that advice. Instead, he forgot to check himself. As you might have guessed, it didn’t turn out too good – he ended up wrecking himself. We just hope he takes it as feedback and changes his ways for next time.

 

[soybean]

Map Fact Check​

Signs are everywhere, and often they serve a useful function. If you’re driving, they tell you how fast to go. If there's a dangerous dog (or owner) at a house, they tell you to beware.

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Sometimes, though, signs are not all that helpful. The thing they warn about is already happening, so the warning is entirely pointless. That seems to be the case above. The lake is far closer than 500 feet ahead – it’s 500 feet behind, as well as to the left and right.

 

[soybean]

Nap Time​

There are many things that we took for granted as kids. We didn’t appreciate the carefully cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, the endless playtime, or the glories of naptime. Instead, we complained about being forced to sleep in the middle of the day.

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As adults who have to work through the middle of the day, however, nap time sounds amazing. The sign above gives a nice little retroactive apology to naptime. Plenty of adults can relate to that sentiment.

 

[soybean]

Helping Out​

Nearly every worker who commutes to work has been stuck in traffic at one time or another. Sometimes it’s due to the fact that so many people are commuting at the same time. Other times it’s due to road construction.

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It’s an unwelcome sight that has many drivers white-knuckling their steering wheel hoping that they’ll get through it in no time. In Texas, however, they take a different and mocking approach to it – “you’ll never get to work on time.”

 

[soybean]

Welcome, My People​

The first thing you learn when you're in the advertising or marketing business is the importance of “knowing your audience.” The road-sign makers of Texas have mastered the principle wonderfully. They decided to break up the road into three main lanes.

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All blind drivers to the left, sober ones in the middle, and drunk ones to the right. Now that breaks up the traffic jams a bit. We just hope they have guardrails in between each lane so people can’t swerve back and forth.

 

[soybean]

Kids Are...​

Kids are many things. When they take the crayons to your new walls, they can be a nuisance. When they say cute things like “aminals” instead of “animals”, they can be a bundle of joy. Other times, they can be a number on an excel spreadsheet.

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We give two thumbs up for the punning ability of the sign makers above. Sure, kids can be tax-deductible, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still taxing – of your time, energy, money, and more. For many, it’s worth it.

 

[soybean]

Stronger Faith​

Texas is a land filled with churches – everything from stadium-like megachurches on the side of highways to small-town churches with clever messaging. The Baptist church below is an example of the latter. Instead of assuming that a facelift will fix everything, it suggests something else.

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Life itself is an ugly affair, so a simple facelift won’t fix it all. Instead, Mt. Nebo Baptist Church asks us to get a “faith lift.” That clever wording is bound to appeal to the faithful and faithless.

 

[soybean]

Snow White​

Back in the early 1800s, The Brothers Grimm published the folk tale of Snow White. Over a century later, Walt Disney turned it into an animated classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The names of those seven dwarfs were Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Bashful, and Dopey.

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With that in mind, the sign above means two things. One is that, in fact, six of the seven dwarves are not called “Happy” – they have other names. Two is that all the other dwarves are unhappy.

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[soybean]

Non-Welcome​

As we saw from the “beware of the dog owner’s gun” sign from above, Texas has a very unique (and darkly funny) way of dealing with trespassers. If you need another example of that, then scroll your eyes down a bit to the sign below.

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We read you loud and clear. If those are the risks, then it makes no sense to walk into that territory. We’d rather live without bullet wounds, broken bones, stab marks, or any kind of prosecution.

 

[soybean]

You Booze, You Lose​

Brunches are great. They’re usually reserved for weekends when you can sleep in a bit and have a meal in between normal breakfast and normal lunch – hence “brunch.” However, the rules for brunch differ from having a bowl of cereal before work.

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Brunches are meant to be luxurious affairs that take a while. In other words, those eggs need a mimosa or bloody mary to wash them down. Otherwise, brunch is nothing more than “a sad late breakfast” – and who wants that?