Hilarious Signs Found Only In Texas

[soybean]

Trending | March 20, 2022​

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Texas is the biggest state in the lower 48. That makes it unique, but that’s certainly not the only thing that makes it unique. Alongside a massive amount of space, Texas also has a particular kind of culture centered around football, trucks, cowboys, steak, and, perhaps most importantly, humor.
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One way to see that humor on display is to look at some of the signs that crop up around the state. These range from small-town signs that make fun of their low population sizes to no trespassing signs that spell out what will happen if you choose to break the rules. Let’s take a look at 85 signs that you’ll only find in Texas.

 

[soybean]

Beer As Cold As Her Heart​

There’s nothing like a good old simile to draw in the crowds at night. That’s especially true when that simile tugs hard on the heartstrings of its patrons – just take a look at the giant sign below.

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Sure, the beer may be as cold as your ex’s heart, but so is the sign! We’re surprised no heartbroken (and mildly inebriated) souls have let off a few rounds at those giant letters. On the bright side, however, cold beer is always a good thing.

 

[soybean]

A Slow And Painful Death​

If the big red ‘Danger’ sign was not enough, then this dry yet compassionate plea to avoid a painful death will definitely do the trick. If that doesn’t do the trick, then we’re out of advice for you.

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Somehow the sign makes you feel stupid for even thinking of disobeying the overt warning. Dying itself is pretty bad, but a painful dying process caused by something that’s easily avoided has to be worse. We will heed the sign’s advice and stay far away.

 

[soybean]

Exhibit 1​

Judging by the sign, it seems Texans are very explicit when it comes to explaining just what is going to go down if you don’t obey the signs. We admire the fact that they explained the whole situation in full detail because it makes it easier to imagine.

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If you decide, for some reason, to still enter the dangerous area at your own risk, then get ready for a long and exhausting legal battle. Be prepared to see the sign again as “Exhibit 1.”

 

[soybean]

A Big Noisy Thing…​

As we saw from above, the simple “Danger” sign doesn’t do it in Texas – they prefer to explain dangers in more depth. For example, instead of “danger: helicopters,” they gave us the funny sign below.

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Instead of assuming that everyone knows what a helicopter looks and sounds like, they went through the (snarky) trouble of explaining exactly what it is – "a big noisy thing with spinning blades." Once you see or hear that, then you should do what the last line of the sign says.

 

[soybean]

Life After Death?​

Here is a perfect exhibit of one of the more creative ways to warn passersby not to enter. If you decide to trespass here, then one thing is certain to happen – you will find out whether there is a heaven or a hell.

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Such a dramatic (and painful) method is not how most people like to go about the issues. Most people prefer methods of prayer and contemplation to think about it. However, if you’re the trespassing type, then this area might be for you.

 

[soybean]

Pretty Kills​

The phrase “guns don’t kill people” has seen countless variations over the years – perhaps most popularly in the 1996 film Happy Gilmore. Well, Texas has another addition to add – one that will make you wary of Texan dads.

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This hilarious sign warns all those young men out there that although guns may not be responsible for killing people, mess with one of their daughters and you are certain to find a messy end. The best way to avoid that is by treating their daughters with respect.

 

[soybean]

Jail Sale​

It’s a little less professional than the other signs, but it does the trick. The creator of the sign decided to get rid of some valuables before spending the next few years in jail. Although there’s nothing funny about that, there is something funny about the way he went about it.

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Namely, by creating a “going to jail sale” sign. We’ve all seen yard sales where you can pick up secondhand clothes and furniture for a bargain. So, why not a jail sale where you can do the same?

 

[soybean]

A New Addition to “BYOB”​

At first glance (when reading the first line), this sign may seem completely outdated and sexist. However, at second glance (when reading the second line), the true comedic gold is delivered. It offers a whole new take on that famous acronym BYOB – bring your own beer.

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The bar will serve you a beer, but they won’t supply you with women. So, if you decide to go there to get lucky, well, you’re out of luck. Best to bring your own date rather than plan on meeting someone new.

 

[soybean]

The Right Size Of Nachos​

“Everything’s bigger in Texas” as the common (and commonly overused) motto goes. Everything from trucks to churches are mega-sized in Texas. This also applies to the nachos – at least to the nachos at the tastefully advertised restaurant below.

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Bring your appetites because the nachos are as big as, well, you can read the sign. Alongside being as big as your rear end, they’re also going to cause trouble down there if you end up eating too many. Perhaps stick to a small order.