Funny quotes

[eboss]

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

 

[eboss]

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

 

[eboss]

You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!

 

[eboss]

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

 

[eboss]

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

 

[eboss]

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

 

[eboss]

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

 

[eboss]

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

 

[eboss]

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

 

[eboss]

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson