Jimmy Fallon's #Kidsquotes hashtag is freaking out the internet

[soybean]

Physical examination​

The father was delighted to see his daughter's growing interest in human anatomy and invited her to examine his neck. This could be the start of something that would one day lead her to become a doctor.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@txasflood

Looking into her father's mouth, she saw a hollow in the back. In their opinion, this could not be anything other than the entrance to the brain. The little doctor's mission was accomplished. Hopefully she learns more about anatomy before she enrolls in medical school!
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[soybean]

sincere admiration​

After years of marriage and overburdened with an endless cycle of chores and bills to pay, a mother's youth will eventually fade. But that doesn't have to bother her. Most mothers feel that all their sacrifices are worth it when they see how happy their children are.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@KortneyMayne

However, this mother was confronted with her daughter's great honesty by paying her painful compliments. Kortney suspected that gravity was affecting her face, but little Tessa left her in no doubt. No more compliments, please!
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[soybean]

How sweet​

After this brief conversation with a little girl in his care, Nathan, an after-school program worker, needs to see a therapist. After working with children for a while he thought he had heard it all but this kid left him speechless.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@ndklump

Mr. Waffle sounds cute and sweet, but we're sure being sticky is a good thing. Nathan still doesn't know what to make of this, and neither do we. But when in doubt, it's always best to take any comment as a compliment!
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[soybean]

Snoopy Discoveries​

When one thinks of childhood, the themes of fun and adventure quickly come to mind. These adventures don't have to be limited to just discovering new places, playing in the park, or learning to swim from dad at the beach.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@anonymousferre1

This kid was happy to let go of his adventurous, fat fingers and let them roam the vast geography of his face. These fingers stumbled across the topography until they discovered two tunnels in his nose, prompting him to share this discovery with his father. Thanks for the revelation boy!
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[soybean]

feet detention​

A four-year-old sympathizes with those who wear shoes, which means practically everyone in the world, including him. It sees shoes as a form of punishment by oppressive forces that want to gain control of the feet's freedom. It doesn't have to be like this, the boy thinks. Our feet should be as free as our hearts and minds.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@Lhlodder

In this child's mind, feet should be allowed to roam the world freely, free to challenge footwear laws and other pertinent cultural norms. We need to put an end to these foot traps.
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[soybean]

drilling rig​

A father took his little girl across the street to open his bank account. He was surprised to see her unhappy face even though they could do so much with his money (e.g. eat an ice cream or a pizza) and asked what was the matter. The kid replied that the ATM was the most boring iPad she had ever seen.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@caylamasters

These ATM screens are not portable, so they cannot be rotated. There are no flickering lights or audio effects, there are no games, and Siri doesn't say anything at all no matter how hard you yell at the screen. By iPad standards, ATMs are pretty boring.
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[soybean]

neck elbow​

Some parents pretend to sleep to ward off their child's incessant questions. However, children will stop at nothing and will keep asking you questions until they are satisfied with an answer. Be prepared to explain the mysteries of the sun and moon, why birds chirp, and how lizards cling to walls.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@bindilouwho

This poor dad had trouble explaining the misplaced elbow in his neck. We wish him luck in declaring that it is an Adam's apple. If it's an apple, why don't you just eat it?
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[soybean]

Endless birthday gifts​

Shopping malls offer all kinds of entertainment to attract kids of all ages. There are numerous restaurants, a wide range of shops and a cheerful atmosphere in the arcades. Of course, it's not all about games and fun.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@RyanBartholomee

These parents just wanted to pick up some new clothes, but then had to have a serious conversation with their four-year-old. You had to explain to her why gifts are only for the birthday girl. She'll have to wait to get a present on her own birthday, and no amount of crying will change that harsh truth.
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[soybean]

A tooth with a name​

We've heard of imaginary friends, but this kid took the concept one step further. The imaginative kid decided to name his coolest teeth. If only Joe the tooth could hop out and hang out with other characters like Boo-Boo the dog or Tom the cat.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@amnda_vera

Unfortunately, Molar Joe is all work, not play. There's a lot to grind and candy to destroy. It's serious business for this character, you know? It's not easy being a tooth.
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[soybean]

See you in hell​

Babysitting isn't this person's idea of a great job, but it helps pay the bills, and we all need to do that, whether we're happy about it or not. The moment the parents go out and leave you alone with the kids, all sorts of problems arise.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@_hippodelphia

From feeding unwilling children to completing their homework, being a nanny can be a daunting task. Opposing forces are constantly clashing, and children can be amazingly energetic when they don't want to do something that's good for them. So Mac understood when the seven-year-old called the job hell.
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