Jimmy Fallon's #Kidsquotes hashtag is freaking out the internet

[soybean]

do we really need him?​

A swaddled baby lying in its mother's arms looked nothing like the older sister had ever seen at her young age. Could this creature really share her genes? Will it grow up and become like them? Will it take up too much of Mom and Dad's attention?
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@HanShotFirst0

The older sister fears she will have to compete with this baby for her parents' love and attention. She wished they could go back in time and capture them so they could stay the way they were before he was born.
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[soybean]

don't tell me lies​

This child loved the magical stories that were constantly being told to him by everyone. Even television is full of fairy tales and wonderful Christmas stories about Santa Claus traveling through the skies with his reindeer.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@chels327

The boy clearly suspects that some of these characters aren't real, but he doesn't know how to live without them. Life would be too boring without Donald or Mickey Mouse, but what if all of these stories are built on lies? It has to be true, or his father will bear the brunt of his disappointment.
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[soybean]

time management​

The innocence with which a child looks at the world easily reveals to him the excesses of adulthood. They are like the blue lights that pick up traces of invisible evidence at crime scenes. And they are not afraid to ask the right questions directly.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@anarabrooks

What's the point of partying all night and then being knocked out all day from overexerting yourself? There must be enough time to do other important things, like play dates. This child knows what is important in life.
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[soybean]

A sad cookie​

Some days, even before the official start of their day, parents get a series of surprises. Before they've had their caffeine, they often have to deal with wet sheets, broken vases, and quarreling siblings.
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Image courtesy of Twitter/@Stephanie_Noyes

Imaginative, this three year old ran down the stairs, fell and hit the wall. The mother's attempt to strengthen him with her words had an enchantingly comic effect. The little biscuit wasn't tough at all - it crumbled.