Today's Quote..

[abie]

Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?

:-D

 

[abie]

A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident.

The carpenter replied, "Twenty-seven feet, six and one-half inches."

"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the lawyer.

"Well, I knew sooner or later some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.

 

[abie]

Dear wife,

You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you
as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.

Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him
that read as follows:

Dear Husband,

You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore don't wait up.

Your Wife

 

[flywings]

Sia tumpang ketawa jak lah
:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

 

[zerylll]

Tak Paham la... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[abie]

Tak Paham la... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

tak paham..?? takpe..lupakan yang tu...aku pun tak paham gak..ingat ko paham..huhuhu..
nah ambik yang nih pulak...

A beautiful woman walked into an orchard and found a lovely pool in it. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was prohibited. "You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him. He replied, "Swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't."

:-D :-D

 

[abie]

At a party, a woman was observing a child who would hold his chest whenever he bent down. After a few minutes, the woman asked the kid, "Why do you hold your chest whenever you bend down?"

The kid said, "One day, my teacher was writing on the board, the chalk fell down, and when my teacher bent down to pick up the chalk, I saw her lungs comes out of her chest." :-D

 

[zerylll]

Kuang2 boleh bukak baju tapi tak boleh masuk kolam.....
hahahaha

:badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin: :badgrin:

 

[flywings]

Ni aku share ngan korang.. agak panjang, tapi baca jak lah :badgrin: :badgrin:

LELAKI BANGSAT

Seorang gadis berusia 20-an menemui dr. Tomi, seorang dokter pakar jiwa.

"Dokter, saya merasa amat marah pada pacar saya sehingga saya memanggilnya lelaki bangsat. Ada kalanya saya rasa dia keterlaluan, dan ada kalanya pula saya rasa memang patut saya memanggil dia seperti itu.."
"Hmm.. panggilan itu memang hinaan yg agak melampaui batas untuk seseorang.. tapi, mungkin kamu punya sebab tersendiri sehingga memangilnya demikian. Ceritakanlah kpd saya agar saya dapat membantu.."

"Ya memang ada.. pd satu malam kami berduaan dalam mobil di tepi pantai. Dia pegang tangan saya."
"Dia pegang tangan kamu seperti ini?" dr Tomi memberi contoh.
"Ya. seperti yg dokter lakukan"
"Kalau hanya ini, tidak sepatutnya dia dipanggil bangsat dong. Itu tandanya dia tidak mau berpisah dgn kamu..."
"Kemudian dia merapatkan badannya kepada saya dan memeluk bahu saya..."
"Dia lakukan seperti inikah?"
"Ya. seperti inilah dia peluk saya dokter.."
"Itu bukan bangsat, itu tandanya dia mau sentiasa berdampingan dgn kamu" kata dr Tomi.

"Kemudian dia cium saya.."
"Dia cium kamu seperti ini ?"
"Ya. Ciumannya sama seperti yg dokter lakukan."
"Kalau sekadar ciuman seperti ini, masih belum boleh dipanggil bangsat dong, itu tandanya dia sayang kamu, toh?"

"Kemudian dia menanggalkan semua pakaian saya satu persatu.."
"Adakah kamu membantah tindakannya?"
"Tidak, saya merelakannya sebab saya sayang dia.."
"Dia tanggalkan pakaian kamu seperti ini ?"
"Ya, sampai saya telanjang bulat seperti ini dokter..."

"Itu masih belum layak dipanggil bangsat, karena dia sebetulnya ingin mengenali diri kamu seutuhnya"
"Kemudian dia mencumbui saya lalu melakukan hubungan seksual dgn saya dok..."
"Dia lakukan seperti yg kita lakukan tadi kah?"
"Ya. Memang itulah yg dia lakukan ketika itu"
"hmm, itu juga masih belum boleh dipanggil bangsat. Itu tandanya dia memerlukan kamu dong!"

"Tapi kemudian dia memberitahu saya bahwa dia sebenarnya mengidap AIDS"

"HAH?? BRENGSEK!! DIA..MEMANG .. BANGSAT!!.. BANGSAAATTT!!!!.. LELAKI BAAANGSAAAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!!!!!......

 

[zerylll]

Hmm mmg brangset betul.. Kalau ade Aids jgn la buat gituan...
Menaya org je...

Moral of the story.. Jauh Maksiat dan Zina 8) 8) 8) 8)