Cool Marriage Jokes...

[Hidier]

salam..

byk cite ni..
ada yang lawak, ada yang tak..
aku post sikit2 la..kalau post semua sekali gus, penat plk nak baca.. hehe

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

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Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.

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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

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It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

 

[Hidier]

If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day

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Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.

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There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.

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Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.

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Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master
of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

 

[Hidier]

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much
that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he
is going thru hell.

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Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!

 

[Hidier]

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Al Gore

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy.
If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Mike Tyson

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?
George Clooney

 

[Hidier]

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Bill Clinton

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go
to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music
and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
George W. Bush

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Rudy Giuliani

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage."
Michae Jordan

 

[Hidier]

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Shaquille O’Neal

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Kobe Bryant

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Alec Baldwin

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Barack Obama

 

[Hidier]

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Tommy Lee

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
Brad Pitt

First Guy (proudly): "M wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Jimmy Kimmel



First there is the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then
the wedding ring...soon after....comes Suffer...ing!
Jay Leno

 

[Hidier]

Every Wife Is A 'Mistress" For Her Husband. "Miss" For One
Hour & "Stress" For the Rest 23 Hours..!.

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There Are Two Times When A Man Doesn't Understand A Woman Before Marriage AndAfter Marriage.

 

[Hidier]

Wife : I Will Die.

Husband : I Will Also Die.

Wife : Why Will You Die ?

Husband : Because I Can't Bear That Much Happiness..! .

 

[Hidier]

Husband Searching Keywords On Google `How To Tackle
Wife?` Google Search Result, `Still Searching`.