This is Malaysia - and you should know -
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Ajinomoto
NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD:
Maggi Mee
NATIONAL BREAKFAST:
Nasi Lemak
NATIONAL LUNCH:
Nasi Ayam
NATIONAL SUPPER:
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam
NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.
So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any
pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything.. .
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all "dried up".
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol.. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :
Moh Fah Kor.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.
NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
NATIONAL Rice Cooker
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING NICE:
Running For Election
NATIONAL ANSWER FOR "WHERE ARE YOU"?:
-on the way.
NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE:
-10 minutes Sure ah???
NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE:
Petrol naik lagi kawan... semua barang pun kena naik ler... inclusive of chicken meat?
NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE:
Still cheaper than other country la....
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM:
there was accident on the other side of the road.. of course must slow down and tengok-tengok, kaypoh-kaypoh lah!
NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION ?
'I got some work to do la.u all go first la..'
NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT ROOFS:
An act of God. Definitely nothing to with greased palms and poor quality control. Nope, none whatsoever.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS:
None. We were misquoted.
NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES:
Orang cakap mau naik mesti mau naik lah! Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?!
NATIONAL REASON FOR HAVING BIG ONION DOMES ON TAXPAYER-FUNDED PUBLIC BUILDINGS:
....dunno. (It's not as if we're anywhere near the middle east.)
NATIONAL REASON FOR SPURNING BAILOUT PACKAGES FROM FOREIGN CAR COMPANIES:
We're about to unveil another badly designed low budget car, which,
coupled with our notorious customer service and corporate mismanagement,
will see us bankrupt again within the next 5 years. And so we have
absolutely no need for the Germans and their silly car-making and market-positioning know ho w, thank you very much.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE (TRAFFIC JAM OR WHAT EVER QUEUE):
...... everybody doing what lah............
NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE:
Relax ler... government will give discount one of these days
NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE (ANY CONDITION):
........ give them minum kopi lar......
~cinderella~
"Time changes nothing for those who won't change themselves
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Ajinomoto
NATIONAL INSTANT FOOD:
Maggi Mee
NATIONAL BREAKFAST:
Nasi Lemak
NATIONAL LUNCH:
Nasi Ayam
NATIONAL SUPPER:
Roti Canai & Teh Tarik
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam
NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms.
So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any
pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.
NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple
NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many Malaysian men swear by it. But then after a few pints they start swearing at everything.. .
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning
NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHOEA :
Cap Kaki Tiga. Down one bottle with warm water and you are all "dried up".
NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol.. The "cure for all". If it fails we have another secret weapon - Tiger Balm.
NATIONAL CURE FOR NAUSEA :
Moh Fah Kor.
NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours.
NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.
NATIONAL RICE COOKER :
NATIONAL Rice Cooker
NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.
NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING NICE:
Running For Election
NATIONAL ANSWER FOR "WHERE ARE YOU"?:
-on the way.
NATIONAL OFFICIAL TIME FOR BEING LATE:
-10 minutes Sure ah???
NATIONAL REASON FOR PRICE INCREASE:
Petrol naik lagi kawan... semua barang pun kena naik ler... inclusive of chicken meat?
NATIONAL REASON FOR PETROL INCREASE:
Still cheaper than other country la....
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CAUSING TRAFFIC JAM:
there was accident on the other side of the road.. of course must slow down and tengok-tengok, kaypoh-kaypoh lah!
NATIONAL REASON WHEN REJECTING INVITATION ?
'I got some work to do la.u all go first la..'
NATIONAL REASON FOR COLLAPSED BUILDINGS & LEAKY PARLIAMENT ROOFS:
An act of God. Definitely nothing to with greased palms and poor quality control. Nope, none whatsoever.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR IRRESPONSIBLE POLITICAL STATEMENTS:
None. We were misquoted.
NATIONAL MINISTERIAL REASON FOR INCREASING TOLL RATES:
Orang cakap mau naik mesti mau naik lah! Lu ingat ini jalan saya punya bapak punya kah?!
NATIONAL REASON FOR HAVING BIG ONION DOMES ON TAXPAYER-FUNDED PUBLIC BUILDINGS:
....dunno. (It's not as if we're anywhere near the middle east.)
NATIONAL REASON FOR SPURNING BAILOUT PACKAGES FROM FOREIGN CAR COMPANIES:
We're about to unveil another badly designed low budget car, which,
coupled with our notorious customer service and corporate mismanagement,
will see us bankrupt again within the next 5 years. And so we have
absolutely no need for the Germans and their silly car-making and market-positioning know ho w, thank you very much.
NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR JUMPING QUEUE (TRAFFIC JAM OR WHAT EVER QUEUE):
...... everybody doing what lah............
NATIONAL EXCUSE NOT PAYING SAMAN ACCORDING TO DUE DATE:
Relax ler... government will give discount one of these days
NATIONAL EXCUSE TO BRIBE (ANY CONDITION):
........ give them minum kopi lar......
~cinderella~
"Time changes nothing for those who won't change themselves
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