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New English Thread

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.

All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."

Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish".

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic.

Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking.

The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.

Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time.

Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times.

All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive.

I wish that I could understand women.

I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy"

After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"


:)):)):eek:
 
Man saw COLORS & invented PAINT.

Woman got inspired from PAINT & invented MAKE-UP.

Man coined WORDS & invented CONVERSATION.

Woman got inspired from CONVERSATION & invented GOSSIP.

Man learned AGRICULTURE & invented FOOD.

Woman got inspired from FOOD & invented DIET.

Man discovered FRIENDSHIP & invented LOVE.

Woman got inspired from LOVE & invented ... LOVE TRIANGLES!

Man discovered TRADING & invented MONEY.

Woman got MONEY & started SHOPPING.

That's it!

Thereafter, man has invented lots of things.

And WOMEN are still SHOPPING!




#indeed :p
 
Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ...

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work.

I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.




:)):)):eek:
 
:))

Wife: You had lunch?
Husband(in fun mood) : You had lunch?
Wife : I am asking You. ...
Husband : I am asking You.
Wife: You copying me?
Husband: You copying me?
Wife: Lets go shopping
Husband: I had lunch

:eek::eek:
 
:))

Wife: You had lunch?
Husband(in fun mood) : You had lunch?
Wife : I am asking You. ...
Husband : I am asking You.
Wife: You copying me?
Husband: You copying me?
Wife: Lets go shopping
Husband: I had lunch

:eek::eek:

Please dont copy and paste...everybody know if you just copy and paste...write whatever you want..do like me...:D:D
 
Please dont copy and paste...everybody know if you just copy and paste...write whatever you want..do like me...:D:D

lol.what's ur prob sir? :-?
i'm not open a new thread..
it's juz sharing among 'US' here. :-?

 
Husband: can u be the moon of my life?

Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
.
.
Husband: Great! then…. Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!

:p
 
:eek::eek: so it's you yang paksa that time kan :eek::eek:

how's ramadhan?
how much have u spent at param till date? :p

ramadhan, is good and havnt spent much, because i don't go to param much. :D :D
plus, need to save up for something important too.;;)
 
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