Jokes

[Maestro]

A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy
> >standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at
> him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis,
3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
> >
> >The small guy faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude
> >kneels down and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him.
> When the little guy finally comes around, the big guy asks him, "What's
> wrong with you?"
> >
> >In a very weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what EXACTLY
> >did you say to me?"
> >
> >The big dude said, "I saw the curious look on your face and figured I'd
> >just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
> >I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my left
> >testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds and my
> >name is Turner Brown."
> >
> >The small guy says, "Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around!'"

 

[Maestro]

1. Why do women wear red lipstick?

WARNING! Wrong hole!

2. What's the similarity between a woman's legs and bread&butter?

Delicious when spread!

3. What's the difference between a bowling ball & a pussy?

You can only put in 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

4. Sex is like MATH: ADD the bed, SUBTRACT the clothes, DIVIDE the legs,
and MULTIPLY!

5. What do u get when u cross breed a rooster with an M&M?

A cock that melts in your mouth not in your hands.

6. Ho! Ho! Ho! Why are Santa Clause's balls so big?

Coz he only comes once a year! Ho! Ho! HO!

7. Dodi saw his driver in heaven and said:

"I said I wanna **** Di in the tunnel, not ******* die in the tunnel!"

8. What is the similarity between a priest & a Xmas tree?

Their balls are only for decoration.

9. Why do men get paid more at the sperm bank than in a blood bank?

Sperm is handmade.

10. What happen to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?

They become mummies!

11. What part of the human anatomy that ocassionally drips & feels good
when blown?

The NOSE!

 

[Maestro]

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him, and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh,...Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong,...but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground. "Here" she said, "you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed: "What in the hell did you do that for?"
Tarzan replied "check for squirrel

 

[Arluth]

paling bengap LOL