It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right
at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over
and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The
seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have
a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well,
actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed
away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else,
a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head.
"No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
----------
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a
rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a
small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave,"
the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite
is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend,
who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna
die."
------
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special
game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it
in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket,
and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly:
"Paint…my…house."
at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over
and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The
seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have
a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well,
actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed
away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else,
a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head.
"No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
----------
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a
rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a
small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave,"
the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite
is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend,
who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna
die."
------
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special
game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it
in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket,
and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly:
"Paint…my…house."
